Do Not Marry 7 Types Of Women

Do Not Marry 7 Types Of Women


1.Al-Annaanah:

The woman who whines, moans and complains and 'ties a band around her head' all the time (i.e. complains of a headache or some illness but in reality she is not sick, rather she is faking).

2. Al-Mannaanah:

The woman who bestows favours, gifts, etc. upon her husband then (at that time or the future) says; "I did such and such for you or on your behalf or because of you.

3. Al-Hannaanah:

The women who yearns or craves for her former husband or children of the former husband.

4. Kay'atul-Qafaa:

The women who has a brand mark on the nape of her neck (i.e. has a bad reputation or doubts about her).

5. Al-Haddaaqah:

The women who cast her eyes at things (i.e. always looking at something to purchase, then desires it and requires her husband to buy it (No Matter What).

6. Al-Barraaqah:

The women who spends much of her day enhancing her face and beautifying it to such an extent that it will seem like it was manufactured.

7. Al-Shaddaaqah:

The woman who talks excessively...

[Taken from the Book: 'A Concise Manual of Marriage' by Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen]

A Womans Brain is tied to her Tongue

نحن نؤمن أن التوفيق بيد الله سبحانه وحدة وأن كل شيء مقدر ومكتوب .. ولكن هناك
أسباب يجب الأخذ بها مع التوكل على الله

We believe that success is in the hands of Allah (Subhana wa ta 'ala) and that everything has
been written and destined.. but there are actions that we must be doing
whilst having Tawakul on Allah (Subhana wa ta 'ala)

وهنا أذكر لكم ما قالته عجوز وهي سيدة حكيمة يحبها زوجها كثيراً حتى أنه كان
يحلو له أن ينشد لها أبيات الحب والغرام وكلما تقدماً في السن ازداد حبهما
وسعادتهما .. وعندما سألت تلك المرأة عن سر سعادتها الدائمة

And I shall mention to you what an old lady, that was very wise and greatly
loved by her husband to a point where he loved to sing love poetry to her
and as they grew old their love and happiness grew with them, said when she
was asked about the secret to her enduring happiness.

قالت : الحصول على السعادة الزوجية بيد المرأة , فالمرأة تستطيع أن تجعل من
بيتها جنة وارفة الظلال أو جهنم مستعرة النيران .>
She Said: Attaining married life happiness is in the hands of the woman, for
she can make her house a living heaven or turn it into burning hell.

لا تقولي المال .. فكثير من النساء الغنيات تعيسات وهرب منهن أزواجهن

Dont say money for alot of rich women are miserable and have been deserted
by their husbands.

ولا تقولي الأولاد .. فهناك من النساء من أنجبن 10 صبيان وزوجها يهينها ولا
يحبها ويمكن أن يطلقها

And dont say children for there are alot of women with 10 boys, have
husbands insulting them, not loving them and will probably divorce them.

ولا تقولي طباخة .. لأن الكثير منهن ماهرات في الطبخ , فالواحدة منهن تطبخ طوال
النهار ومع ذلك تشكو سوء معاملة زوجها وقلة احترامه لها

And dont say cooking because alot of them are experts at cooking, the one of
them cooks all day and yet complains about the maltreatment of and lack of
respect by her husband.

* إذا ما هو السر ؟؟؟

So what is the secret?

* ماذا كنت تعملين عند حدوث المشاكل مع زوجك ؟؟؟

What did you do when problems occurred with your husband?

قالت : عندما يغضب ويثور زوجي – وقد كان عصبياً – كنت ألجأ إلى الصمت المطبق
بكل احترام .. إياك والصمت المصاحب لنظرة سخرية ولو بالعين لأن الرجل ذكي و
يفهمها

She said: When my husband gets angry and is in rage I used to resort to
respectful silence, beware of silence whilst ridiculing him with your look
for men are smart and get it.

* لم لا تخرجي من الغرفة ؟؟

Why dont you leave the room?

قالت : إياك أن تخرجي من الغرفة .. قد يظن أنك تهربين منه ولا تريدين سماعه ,
عليك بالصمت وموافقته على ما يقول . كنت انتظره حتى يهدأ ثم بعد ذلك أقول له
وبصوتٍ خافت : هل انتهيت؟ ثم أخرج لأنه سيتعب وبحاجة للراحة بعد الكلام والصراخ
.. أخرج من الغرفة لأكمل أعمالي المنزلية وشؤون أولادي وأحاول أن لا أتذكر غضبه
وحربه لي .. وسيظل هو بمفرده وقد أنهكته الحرب التي شنها علي

She said: Never leave the room, he will think you are running away and dont
want to listen to him, you must keep silent and agreeing to what he says. I
would wait for him until he cools down and then I would tell him in a gentle
voice: Are you done? then I leave because he will get tired and needs to
rest after the rage and shouting, I leave the room to complete my housework
and my children chores and I try not to remember his anger and assault on
me, he will remain by himself tired from the rage he has given me.

* ماذا تفعلين هل تلجئين إلى أسلوب المقاطعة فلا تكلمينه لمدة أيام أو أسبوع ؟

What do you then do, do you give him the silent treatment for a few days or
a week?

قالت : لا .. إياك وإتباع أسلوب المقاطعة .. لأنها عادة سيئة وهي سلاح ذو حدين
عندما تقاطعين زوجك أسبوعاً قد يكون ذلك صعباً عليه في البداية ويحاول أن يكلمك
ولكن مع الأيام سوف يتعود على ذلك وإن قاطعته أسبوع قاطعك أسبوعين.

She said: No, never give the silent treatment, its a bad habbit and is a
double bladed sword, when you boycott him for a week it would be difficult
on him in the beginning and he will try to speak to you but with time he
will get used to it so that if you boycott him for a week he will boycott
you for two.

عليك أن تعوديه على أنك الهواء الذي يستنشقه والماء الذي يشربه ولا يستغني عنه
.. كوني كالهواء الرقيق وإياك والريح الشديدة

You have to make him used to the fact that you are the air he breathes, the
water which he drinks and cant live without, be like a gentle breeze and
never like a strong wind.

* إذاً ماذا تفعلين بعد ذلك ؟؟

So what do you do afterwards?

بعد ساعتين أو أكثر .. أضع له كوباً من العصير أو فنجاناً من القهوة وأقول له
تفضل أشرب , لأنه فعلاً محتاج إليه وأكلمه بشكل عادي ... سيقوم بسؤالي هل أنتِ
غاضبة ؟؟ فأقول لا

After two hours or more, I give him a glass of juice or a cup of coffee and
tell him please drink, for he is really in need for it and I talk to him
normally, he will ask me: are you angry? and I say No.

فيبدأ بالاعتذار عن كلامه القاسي ويسمعني الكلام الجميل

He starts to apologize for his harsh talk and starts sweet talking me.

* وهل تصدقين اعتذاره وكلامه الجميل؟؟

And you believe his apology and sweet talk?

طبعاً ... لأني أثق بنفسي ولست غبية ...!!!

Of course, because I trust myself and because I am not stupid.

هل تريدين مني تصديق كلامه وهو غاضب وتكذيبه وهو هادئ ؟؟؟

You want me to believe his talk whilst he is in rage and disbelieve it
whilst he is calm?

إن الإسلام لا يقر طلاق الغاضب ... وهو طلاق!! فكيف ما حصل معي أنا؟؟؟

Islam has not approved divorce whilst in rage , and thats divorce! so what
about what happened to me?

* فقيل لها ... و كرامتك ؟؟

She was told: What about your dignity?

قالت : أي كرامة ؟

She said: What dignity?

كرامتك ألا تصدقي أي كلمة جارحة من إنسان غاضب

Your dignity is when you dont believe a harsh word from an angry person.

و أن تصدقي كلامه عندما يكون هادئاً

And to believe his talk when he is calm.

أسامحه فوراً لأني قد نسيت كل الشتائم وأدركت أهمية

.سماع الكلام المفيد

I forgive him immediately because I have forgotten all the foul language and realized the importance of hearing beneficial talk

وباختصار ومما سبق يمكن أن أقول :
سر السعادة الزوجية عقل المرأة ومربط تلك السعادة لسانها

And to summarize the above I can say: The secret to a happy marriage is the woman's brain and that happiness's knot is her tongue.

Saying of the Salaf: The blessed marriage according to the sunnah

Maa shaa 'Allah this was a beautiful explanation:


Yahyâ b. Yahyâ Al-NaysâbûrÎ reports:

I was once with Sufyân b. ‘Uyainah – Allah have mercy on him, when a man came to him and said, “O Abû Muhammad, I complain to you of so-and-so”, meaning his wife, “I am the lowest and most despicable thing to her.” [Sufyân] lowered his head for a few moments, then said, “Perhaps you wanted her in order to better your status.” The man said, “Indeed, o Abû Muhammad.” Sufyân said, “Whoever goes for glory will be tried with ignominy, whoever goes for wealth will be tried with poverty, but whoever goes for religiousness, Allah will bring together for him glory and wealth with the religion.” He then started to narrate to him:

We were four brothers: Muhammad, ‘Umrân, IbrâhÎm and I. Muhammad was the eldest, ‘Umrân was the youngest, and I was in the middle. When Muhammad wanted to marry, he desired status and married a woman of higher standing, so Allah tried him with ignominy. ‘Umrân desired wealth, so he married a richer woman and Allah tried him with poverty: [her family] took everything from him and gave him nothing.

I pondered their situation. Mu’ammar b. Râshid once came to us so I consulted him on the situation and told him the story of my brothers. He reminded me of the hadÎth of Yahyâ b. Ja’dah and the hadÎth of ‘Â`ishah. The hadÎth of Yahyâ b. Ja’dah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “A woman is married for four things: her religion, her status (lineage), her wealth or her beauty; so take the religious one and be successful.” The hadÎth of ‘Â`ishah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “The most blessed woman is she who is easiest to maintain.”

Thus, I chose [to marry a woman of] religion and modest dowry, in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, and Allah gave me status and wealth along with the religion.

Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 7:289, 290.

Note
The first hadÎth is recorded by Al-BukhârÎ and Muslim. The second is found in Al-Nasâ`Î and other collections but has been graded weak by scholars including Shaykh Al-AlbânÎ. However, scholars point out there is another narration that supports and adds to its meaning. This hadÎth states:
It is from the blessing in a woman that she has an easy dowry, an easy proposal [via her guardian] and an easy womb (i.e. she is fertile and bares children without difficulty). One of the reporters of this narration, ‘Urwah, said “And I say from myself, one of the first signs of evil from a woman is for her to have a high dowry.”
This hadÎth is recorded by Imâm Ahmad and others and is graded hasan by Shaykh Al-AlbânÎ.